E WIGGLE
Now some children are named Brian, or David, or Stuart, or John,
Or Richard, or Kevin, or Ivan or Don,
Or Mary, or Gladys, or Sandra, or Sara,
Or Betsy, or Mopsy, or Flopsie, or Clara.
Some names are uncommon, like Ariel or Sneezy,
Or Pelleas, or Adelbert, or Tylene, or Breezy,
Or Wabomoppum, Nolichucky, Impy Doo, or Ziggle.
But never a name was so strange as the name of a child whose name was E Wiggle.
ONE MORNING
“And what’s your name?” said Mrs. Gove.
“My name is Robbie Dermond.”
“Thank you, Robbie. And now, what’s your name?”
“E Wiggle.”
“Excuse me?”
“E Wiggle.”
“E Wiggle?”
“E Wiggle.”
“Is that your first name or your last name?”
“But, Mrs. Gove, E Wiggle is all of my name.
You see, my first name is E and my last name is Wiggle.
E Wiggle. E Wiggle. E Wiggle. E Wiggle.”
The other children began to giggle.
Imagine a child whose name is Wiggle!
The other children laughed with glee.
Imagine a child whose name is E!
“But E must stand for something.
Is it Edwin, or Egbert, or Everett, or Eveready,
Or Erin, or Eric, or Ebenezer,
Or Eddie?”
“No Ma’am, just E”
“Just E?”
“Just E.”
The other children began to giggle.
Imagine a child whose name is Wiggle!
The other children laughed with glee.
Imagine a child whose name is E!
E Wiggle felt a little sad.
He wasn’t naughty; he wasn’t bad.
He simply said his name was Wiggle.
So why do all the children giggle?
I simply said my name was E.
Why do they all make fun of me?
“Now class, let’s not be rude.”
“Besides, it’s rather interesting, you see –
Because I wonder if
We have the only child in the whole school whose last name is Wiggle
And I wonder if
We have the only child in the whole school whose first name is E.”
LUNCHTIME
“Does your class have a Wiggle?”
“A what?”
“A Wiggle.”
“What’s that?”
“It’s a name. Does your class have a kid named Wiggle?”
“Of course not, silly.”
“Betcha you don’t have an E in your class.”
“A what?”
“An E.”
“What’s that?”
“It’s a name. Betcha you don’t have a boy called E in your class.”
“Get lost.”
“Our class has a new child called E Wiggle!”
“So what?”
“Sew buttons on your ice cream.”
“Are you the new one called E Wiggle?”
“I guess so.”
“What do you mean, you guess so? Either you are or you aren’t.”
“Yes, I are -- I mean, yes, I am.”
“Well, I never heard of a name like that before in all my nine years.”
AFTER LUNCH
“There’s no E in the Fourth grade, Mrs. Gove.”
“No Wiggles in Third.”
“None in First or Kindergarten, either.”
“I asked everybody.”
“I checked Fifth and Sixth.”
“Well, I really think that’s kind of nice –
Our new friend E Wiggle has brought us two distinctions already.
We’re the only class with a Wiggle
And we’re the only class with an E.”
And all the children began to giggle.
No other class in school has a Wiggle.
And all the children laughed with glee.
No other class has a child called E.
And a shy little smile on the face of E Wiggle.
E Wiggle, E Wiggle, E Wiggle, E Wiggle.
Now some children are named Brian, or David, or Stuart, or John,
Or Richard, or Kevin, or Ivan or Don,
Or Mary, or Gladys, or Sandra, or Sara,
Or Betsy, or Mopsy, or Flopsie, or Clara.
Some names are uncommon, like Ariel or Sneezy,
Or Pelleas, or Adelbert, or Tylene, or Breezy,
Or Wabomoppum, Nolichucky, Impy Doo, or Ziggle.
But never a name was so strange as the name of a child whose name was E Wiggle.
ONE MORNING
“And what’s your name?” said Mrs. Gove.
“My name is Robbie Dermond.”
“Thank you, Robbie. And now, what’s your name?”
“E Wiggle.”
“Excuse me?”
“E Wiggle.”
“E Wiggle?”
“E Wiggle.”
“Is that your first name or your last name?”
“But, Mrs. Gove, E Wiggle is all of my name.
You see, my first name is E and my last name is Wiggle.
E Wiggle. E Wiggle. E Wiggle. E Wiggle.”
The other children began to giggle.
Imagine a child whose name is Wiggle!
The other children laughed with glee.
Imagine a child whose name is E!
“But E must stand for something.
Is it Edwin, or Egbert, or Everett, or Eveready,
Or Erin, or Eric, or Ebenezer,
Or Eddie?”
“No Ma’am, just E”
“Just E?”
“Just E.”
The other children began to giggle.
Imagine a child whose name is Wiggle!
The other children laughed with glee.
Imagine a child whose name is E!
E Wiggle felt a little sad.
He wasn’t naughty; he wasn’t bad.
He simply said his name was Wiggle.
So why do all the children giggle?
I simply said my name was E.
Why do they all make fun of me?
“Now class, let’s not be rude.”
“Besides, it’s rather interesting, you see –
Because I wonder if
We have the only child in the whole school whose last name is Wiggle
And I wonder if
We have the only child in the whole school whose first name is E.”
LUNCHTIME
“Does your class have a Wiggle?”
“A what?”
“A Wiggle.”
“What’s that?”
“It’s a name. Does your class have a kid named Wiggle?”
“Of course not, silly.”
“Betcha you don’t have an E in your class.”
“A what?”
“An E.”
“What’s that?”
“It’s a name. Betcha you don’t have a boy called E in your class.”
“Get lost.”
“Our class has a new child called E Wiggle!”
“So what?”
“Sew buttons on your ice cream.”
“Are you the new one called E Wiggle?”
“I guess so.”
“What do you mean, you guess so? Either you are or you aren’t.”
“Yes, I are -- I mean, yes, I am.”
“Well, I never heard of a name like that before in all my nine years.”
AFTER LUNCH
“There’s no E in the Fourth grade, Mrs. Gove.”
“No Wiggles in Third.”
“None in First or Kindergarten, either.”
“I asked everybody.”
“I checked Fifth and Sixth.”
“Well, I really think that’s kind of nice –
Our new friend E Wiggle has brought us two distinctions already.
We’re the only class with a Wiggle
And we’re the only class with an E.”
And all the children began to giggle.
No other class in school has a Wiggle.
And all the children laughed with glee.
No other class has a child called E.
And a shy little smile on the face of E Wiggle.
E Wiggle, E Wiggle, E Wiggle, E Wiggle.